November 24, 2015
After a separation or divorce, many parents find themselves alone on Thanksgiving for the first time in a long time. Here are some tips to cope:
- Establish new traditions. Maybe you always hosted Thanksgiving dinner at your house and now you feel awkward without the children there. New traditions can help take the focus of who is not there – it can be as simple as eating in a different room, serving different foods, or having a lunch instead of a dinner.
- Get out of the house. If your children are gone the whole weekend, don’t sit at home by yourself. Go visit friends, do a turkey trot, start your shopping, or visit a winery with someone. The possibilities are endless (especially in the area we live – take advantage!).
- Remember that Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for what we have – and what we don’t have. Don’t forget to be thankful that you are no longer in a relationship that was not working. While this is a transition right now, everything gets easier with time.
November 4, 2015
An interesting article in the New York Times regarding shared mortgages: click here.
Both spouse’s names on the mortgage routinely provides complications in a divorce. The article wisely advises to get started on the refinance sooner rather than later. In many cases, the party wishing to stay in the residence will discover that they cannot afford it alone and the parties end up selling the house.
In other cases, where a refinance is possible, the paperwork takes longer than expected. So the spouses may still be financially tied even after divorce.
It’s a difficult process that adds to the stress of the divorce.